Killing your ambition starts with comparison. I am the first to admit that I scroll through Instagram and get jealous of all these travel accounts even when I am one of them. I know Instagram is only the highlight reel but still my imagination is pretty good. I mean I was in Thailand sipping a daiquiri on the beach with Aaron and I saw someone in Nepal and I was so jealous! I mean really Shelby, you’re in Thailand?! Yes I used 3rd person..
I have a really hard time with comparison. When I was a teenager I was bigger than other girls, I always felt out of place and I never felt like I was taken seriously. I was always the observer who was conflicted about being like the other girls – the brand name clothes, the new cars that their parents bought them. To be as sporty as them and as popular as them.
I took my insecurities with me into my twenties. Always believing I wasn’t good enough. Around the age of 21 I started to get mad at myself for wishing my life was different but doing nothing about it. I lost all ambition because of dumb excuses like “I’m not pretty enough,” “skinny enough,” “smart enough,” “rich enough.” But at some point I realized that comparing myself to others was not going to help me in anyway. Instead of throwing myself another pity party with big fat sadness balloons, I started working on my goals again. Making a clear path at what I want. And to be honest, it was only this month that I really decided what I wanted and where I wanted to be.
“Don’t compare your Chapter 1 to someone else’s Chapter 20.”
I recently found a few quotes to help banish your self-doubt but sometimes, you need a reminder to tell you how much a person can rise. Quite flatly, doubt will kill your ambition. Doubt will kill your dreams, your goals, your self-image, your mind and your creativity. It will kill that shred of hope in your gut that tells you you can make it. That you can do anything in the world if you set your mind to it. I HATED telling people my dreams because I got mocked. I got told they aren’t “realistic” and my favorite “You wont make any money from that.” Don’t think I asked for your opinion but okay..
When Aaron, my boyfriend, told his mom about my blog my gut dropped. What..? My dream was now out in the open, ready to be shredded and criticized. I was embarrassed and a little annoyed. What if my dreams didn’t work? I would be laughed at, humiliated for trying. If I kept my blog quiet and played it off as something I didn’t take seriously then it wouldn’t matter if nothing happened, right?
My doubts read through my writing as I censored myself, scared of people who I might know in real life finding me and judging me. Naturally I started looking at “real” jobs again, because what if I failed and what if nothing worked out? But then I got to thinking “In 10 years am I going to more upset about not trying and never knowing, or am I going to be more upset about trying and failing?” I hated how much I doubted myself and for letting people get to me. They were killing my ambition. I wanted to go against it so I said fuck it. I didn’t want anyone’s approval from the beginning so why would I want it now?
Sometimes you got to fight through the doubt, the fears and the naysayers because this is your life. There’s no time for doubt. Listen to your intuition and stick to your path.
“Doubt’s kill more dreams than failures ever will.”
It is so easy to lose focus these days with the internet, TV and social media. I’m embarrassed to say that I have caught myself on Instagram looking at memes and suddenly 2 hours go by. I also find people who I think are inspiring and go “I wonder what they do for work?” and then I suddenly want to become a Vogue Journalist or open up a Boutique on Madison Avenue. When this happens I lose focus on what I really want and veer off my path to live someone else’s dreams. This is why social media detoxes are so important and writing down what you want. If you don’t have a clear destination in mind you’re more susceptible to other peoples dreams instead of your own.
Don’t loose focus on what you want or you’ll kill your dreams and ambition by neglect. If you do like what someone else is doing and believe you’ll like that career more than go for it! Life is a journey and is about creating and having experiences. Just make sure you are doing things for yourself because you enjoy them, not because it’s what you think you should be doing. Does that make sense? Example: I wanted to be a lawyer. But I don’t think I would be happy with that lifestyle so instead of pursuing that I have pursued my life long passions – art, writing, and photography!
“Blessed are the curious for they shall have adventures.”
What are your dreams? Share in the comments! Don’t forget to stay up to date by hanging out on Bloglovin or join my emailing list by subscribing!